Possibility

Title: Possibility
Pairings: PB&J
Warnings: Yaoi and angst, somewhat AU?

---Love---

Gamzee continued to stare at the colors, his eyes completely unfocused trying to take in the lurid world.

His mind refused to think about a certain boy, trying to forget the brown blooded boy, a thin hand resting over his heart. He let a sigh pass through his gray-painted lips, heart heavy will turmoil and paranoia. Soon the colors began to fade, loosing their wonderful neon glow and he felt his eyes slide shut, leaving him alone in the dark with his thoughts.

There was a possibility that Gamzee had red feelings for Tavros.

He was unsure when he started to fall for the paraplegic boy but somehow the dormant feelings had been blown into the air, swirling and hung all around. It was still very unclear, but the pure joy that he felt in his heart made his sopor-pie highs seem like nothing, the boy had easily become addicted to the sweet troll. Every meeting was a motherfucking miracle, and Tavros was surely a blessing from the Gods or whatever powerful deities existed. Just hearing the smaller trolls name made his heart do a freaking flips and made his stomach do all sorts of weird dance moves. Tavros was truly magical, just a smile from his lovely face would bring Gamzee into the best high ever, and if he was responsible for such happiness then he sometimes thought he might just motherfucking die from ecstasy.

Tavros was his motherfucking best bro ever, and his sweet and shy voice would coat Gamzee's brain with mind honey, it was motherfucking magical.

There was a possibility that Gamzee cared too much about Tavros.

The brunette would gladly do anything for Tavros, no questions asked. He could never leave a bro hanging, and Tavros was his motherfucking best bro. He hated seeing the boy being hurt, and after the accident he was insanely worried about his adorable bro. He came everyday to make sure that Tavros would never learn of loneliness, he would be the sun to Tavros's life, he could be everything the bull-horned boy ever needed.

When the boy had mentioned Vriska and their strange relationship Gamzee couldn't even see straight, somehow his vision was clouded over with colors, but these colors were different.

They were flashing and dull, assaulting his eyes will all sorts of negative feelings, pulling the strings of his heart and knotting them painfully, it even became hard to swallow. His lungs felt heavy, each breath was strained and with every expanding movement he could barely keep conscious. The smile that was ever present on his face became extremely hard to keep up, but he continued to push his lips upward.

The sweet chocolate-colored voice began to call his name, and his vision finally cleared, bringing him back to his lovely bro, eyebrows knitted in concern and his lips pulled into a strict line.

His brain began to wander, and he wondered how those lips would taste like, would they bring him into a never ending blissful state?

Being with Tavros was a miracle, a motherfucking miracle, it was better than anything in the entire universe.

Beautiful brown eyes glowed with worry, and Gamzee felt his smile become completely natural, exhaling was such an easy thing to do, he could easily stop breathing for Tavros if he asked for it, he would stop his heart if he was asked to. It was a little scary, how much he would do for the other boy's smile, just to see him find that state of peace, and that look that would settle, where his eyes would become a shade lighter, the richest chocolate color would fill his orange eyes, it was worth everything in the world.

He reached out, but his gesture did not reach the other boy and he instead transitioned it into an arm swing, "hOnK!" Tavros immediately responded, a slight blush dusting across his cheeks as a giggle escaped his form, and Gamzee knew that this boy was perfect. A true motherfucking miracle.

There was a possibility that Tavros was Gamzee's whole world.

When the tears came Gamzee felt at a loss.

Every small sob that came from his bro made his chest throb painfully, and soon he didn't even feel like smiling. He didn't even want to breathe, he wanted to see that smile again. He shifted nervously, and was completely helpless, he couldn't do a damn thing to stop the tears. Soon he saw even the miracles in the rusty tears, and he felt his heart open up, again he reached out for the boy slowly and gently taking him into his arms. His whole body trembled slightly, Tavros was so close to him, he wanted everything to be perfect.

Tavros looked up from long lashes, his glossy eyes shining with confusion.

Gamzee instead rubbed the other boy's back in small circles, and pressed his face into the fluffy mohawk, humming a soft lullaby to the shorter boy. His friend began to relax, his sadness trickling away with every tear, and soon he found comfort in Gamzee's arms. The brunette found the other boy sleeping soundly, and his heart began to beat faster, his nerves on fire and hands trembling with a light coat of sweat.

Tavros was so close.

Every rise and fall of his chest made Gamzee nervous, it was truly a sight to see, nothing hurting his lovely bro, and he let out a contented sigh, something snapped within and let a flood of peace wash over his tired bones. Gamzee wiped his hands on his pants and began fiddling with dark brown hair, running his fingers all through the silky locks. Soon the hand traveled downward, his fingertips hovering above soft skin, quickly retreating back and held close to his chest. Something akin to a flower bloomed above his left lung, a fucking miracle was being born withing his body, and he felt a few violet tears blur his vision. It crashed right into his head, and forced more tears to pour from his eyes, and he finally knew what it was.

These were red feelings.

There was a possibility that Tavros had red feelings for him too.

Gamzee felt his heart sink as Tavros continued to stare at him, a shocked expression tainting his beautiful peace.

Tavros continue to stare and stare, trying to detect any sort of joke from the clown's eyes. A deep blush stained the troll's face, stuttering, "uHHH,,,gAMZEE I jUST uHHHH,,, I tHINK iT'S bEST iF wE jUST sTAY fRIENDS,,,"

Gamzee felt something pierce his chest, and soon tears sprung to his eyes, trying to spill over his colored eyelids. He quickly pushed back the burning violet rivers, and instead tried to smile. No matter how hard he tried, it felt so wrong on his face, "No PrObLeM tAvBrO, I dON't wANnA fReAk YoU oUt Or AnYtHiNg..."

Tavros smiled again, completely ignorant to the pain Gamzee was experiencing. Gamzee felt his ears begin to go deaf, and Tavros continued to talk, yet he could only see his mouth moving. Instead the rushing blood from his heart pounded in his ears, and every pump of blood left waves of pain rippling in his chest. Every second only dragged out the pain, and once Tavros waved goodbye, he felt the ground beneath him slip from under him, or maybe he was falling backwards, he wasn't so sure anymore.

Of course Tavros being flushed for him was impossible.

Every moment was unbearable, now he couldn't even see any of the miracles, no matter how many sopor-pies he made, nothing could fill the giant gaping hole in his chest. His eyes kept burning, his violet tears never ending in a constant flow, he even made a motherfucking river in his house, his whole world tinted purple. Soon he was biting his own fingers in a frenzy, he needed more slime.

Finally he began to sob, his whole body shaking violently as he felt his entire world shatter, every move felt like he would collapse any second. Finally he was hit with an epiphany, his useless actions finally slowing down to a soft halt.

He was dying.

This must be what dying felt like, and his chest began to fill with an empty weight, forcing him to lay down on the ground. His lungs struggled to expand and compress, every ounce of power left in his body slithered away from his heavy bones. He laid there, alone on the ground, waiting for the sweet promise of death to take him away.

What felt like an hour passed, Gamzee pushed his depressed body from it's idle state, tears flowing freely without any restrain, and he made his way to where he had his favorite sweater was hung up. As he walked towards his beloved sweater he kicked all his horns and pins around, becoming at the honks that screeched in his giant room. Soon he ripped the black sweater from it's hanger, and he hugged it tightly, his hopeless feelings catching in his throat. A choked sod escaped from his lips, and he opened the sweater, trying to cover his body as well as he could despite it being too small for him.

Tavros's scent lingered faintly, he had left the sweater two days ago at their meet-up but Gamzee had taken it home, but he could never bring himself to return it to his bro. Old miracles began to play before his eyes, every laugh and smile bursting before him. The memories became bitter, and what he once saw as lovely sweet miracles quickly spoiled into sour pains, Gamzee couldn't even see anything other than violet.

Finally the tears stopped, and he felt nothing.

It was pointless really, why should he bother trying to find the miracles if the world would continue to torment him?

There was a possibility that Gamzee would die without Tavros.

Gamzee stared at the ceiling with glossy blank eyes, still wrapped up in the pathetic black sweater, waiting for death's promise.